True Love Is Keepin’ It Real
I love romance.
romance needs a new definition. Because the current one sucks.
American cinema and literature paint romance as unrealistic as science fiction. With larger than life circumstances, love stories are put on a pedestal. The more unrequited, the more doomed— the better. Those brief glimpses of intense, fantastical love are illustrated as an unattainable goal, few will experience in their lifetime.
That sucks, right?
The true fortunes of life are not “unattainable.” Comparing your love life to romantic movies a la “The Notebook” is as useless as comparing your body to an airbrushed picture in Vanity Fair. What I’ve learned is that true romance is not about over-the-top grand gestures or drama;
Romance is in simplicity.
When you eat healthy food, your body learns to crave healthy food. When you have healthy expectations for love— that’s exactly what you will get.
The problem with romantic movies is these romantic role models are not only unrealistic, they’re also super fucked up.
A few examples of “GREAT ROMANCE”?
Jack and Rose, The most melodramatic couple of the century, whose romance lasted a total 48 hours.
It doesn’t matter if they had made it out alive together. I truly believe these two are such drama queens, they would’ve broken up the minute the boat docked.
The point is: fuck them.
Romeo and Juliet, same deal, completely spastic.
“OMG YOU LOOK DEAD OK I’M GONNA STAB MYSELF”
Uh hey Juliet, how about you wait a minute and then maybe he’ll wake up and you won’t be dead. Also, remember like 5 seconds ago when he was in love with Rosaline??? Don’t you think that’s weird?!?!
They’re 13, they’re dumb, and let’s face it; Romeo’s the type of dude who “falls in love” every 3 weeks. Stay away.
Scarlett and Rhett. BARF.
Why are they so into each other? I’ll tell you why; they love drama. He looooves being sad that she’s in love with Ashley and she looooves that he keeps leaving and coming back. They’re more on-again/off-again than Carrie & Big, with more theatrical public fighting and children tragically falling off horses for no reason.
What is real romance?
It’s just that, real. They are couples who don’t have to make a spectacle. They love each other enough to just exist together. They like to just, ya know, hang out and stuff.
Jim and Pam; A redeeming fictional love story in mainstream media, because they steer away from drama to express love. They are just straightforward and sweet together. Let us all be comfortable enough to acknowledge the Pam within us, so we may sit still long enough to find a Jim… amen.
Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks. I don’t suspect infidelity between these two, because they’re too busy being stable and awesome.
You know what you’d never see Scarlett and Rhett do?
FIST BUMP. But Michelle and Barack do. Why? Because they’re best friends, and business partners. They’re down to earth. Just like:
Your parents? Maybe?
Maybe not all our parents.
But they should be like that. Hopefully all our parents are emotionally stable, but even if they weren’t, you can be, if you choose to.
My philosophy on love is: do not chase drama.
Love is PASSIONATE and exciting, but it’s also [seemingly] boring. If it’s real love, though, and you really accept it, it’s not boring; it’s simple and truthful and it feels good- (not crazy.)
So, if you’re in a relationship that feels like a roller-coaster, filled with uncertainty and drama and makes you cry and drags you through the emotional mud, GTFO.
Pining over someone, jumping through hoops, or loving someone “so much it hurts” isn’t real love… because real love will never hurt you.